August 20, 2009

Who Am I

I am finding it hard to remember who I am and what I am about. Taking care of everyone else's problems (NOT), getting up in their business and in their way has made it really easy to lose myself. I don't take care of myself like I do others. I over eat, don't exercise, have gained 30 pounds in a year, tired and sick all the time. Not sure what my hobbies and likes/dislikes are anymore. Funny, I think I knew more about myself in my 20s then I do in my 40s. I am determined to start making a list of things to try or retry, to find out what I like to do and be ME. My Mom always said "you have to take care of number one before you can take care of anything else". I think I will finally try and take her advice.


Susan M DeAngelis said...

I can completely relate to this. I really let myself go in the last 3 years. I'm so down about myself I won't go to a face to face meeting.

I'm here if you ever want to talk.


Her Big Sad said...

This sounds like someone I know....

ME! Sounds like a good idea, listing things to try.... And I know from experience that when I exercise and eat properly, instead of sitting too much, and eating emotionally, I'm actually happier and more able to handle stress. Weird, but it works!

I know this..... but I too have put back on some weight recently, despite sincerely trying NOT to, while she was incarcerated. Sigh. Guess I didn't try hard enough! Maybe we can encourage each other in that particulare venture!


Mom of Opiate Addict said...

Yes, I eat when I am sad, happy, relieved, dissapointed, and then I am too busy getting up in other people's stuff that I have no time to exercise, etc. It is my addiction that is in the way of finding myself. My addiction of taking care of others and emotionally eating, then giving myself excuses not to take care of my exercise needs and everything else. It needs to be a priority for all of us, we deserve it to be a priority! I will update on my progress and will be following you both, thanks for the encouragement and support.

Madison said...

I think you're on the right path.

Lou said...

If only "everyone else" spent as much time worrying about you! I have seen people become physically ill from worry and stress. A friend of mine got lymphoma, the doctor said it was the result of years of upheaval from her addict son (which she had to handle on her own).

I feel taking care of yourself is the first priority in letting the addict know the family does not revolve around them.

CJ said...

This is a common problem with caretakers, those who do it professionally or those who assume the caretaker role in a family. Individuals who are somewhat more selfish ----takers not givers ----are much saner. We all have to say "no" sometimes.

When my grandmother, who lived with our family, had advanced alzheimers, my mother was tired, sick, and crazy most of the time. It was like taking care of a 130 lb baby. My mom's going through menopause at the time probably didn't help. I was away at college. My sister lived nearby and could help sometimes, but she was working full-time and going to graduate school. Finally, we talked to my mom's three sisters and made a schedule for each to put in one day every-other week to take care of my grandmother. My mother left the house so she wouldn't get sucked into caregiving. She shopped, went to the park, had her hair done, sat in the library, or just pulled the car into a parking lot to read or nap. One or two days off each week resulted in her getting better within weeks.

At some point, others need to take responsibility for themselves. If you continue to do it, they will continue to NOT do it.