August 3, 2009
So it has been a long time since I last wrote anything here. My son has been to jail for four months and out now for two months. He was clean the first month and we tried to set boundaries, goals, etc., in order for him to live with us. He did well the first couple of weeks. He is now using I am sure, no test needed. He is on Proposition 36 probation, but of course with the California budget being in the toilet, that program has severe cutbacks so don't expect much from them. I told him the other day he had to move out and he said he has nowhere to go. He denies using of course, but not even full heartedly becasue he knows that I am sure. I have been grieving so much and so long for my boy. He is 23 now and this has been going on since at least age 17 (of course the addiction has progressed over that time). His father and paternal grandmother died of opiates within one month of each other and he was living with them, found his grandmother. He is addicted to oxy, norco, vicoden, you name it. He stole methodone from my dying sister in January right before he was arrested. I prayed the day he was arrested for a divine intervention and the lord provided. I find myself praying for the same thing again. So hard to make your child leave your home. Fighting with my husband (his step-father) who has been very supportive but is at his wits end. I am so depressed, help God, help.