O.K. so I am feeling a bit strange this morning. Like am I really being honest with myself? I don't think I am. I sometimes feel reserved in my writing here and maybe hold back, justify, lie to myself? I feel a bit lost today everyone. My husband is angry and resentful, completely understandable and we have a counseling meeting on Tuesday, hopefully he will get some good out of that. I feel like I am still holding on to my son and my brother. I feel like a failure today, and I guess I am beating myself up..ha!
I keep feeling like I should just "get it", kind of like a quick fix for the big problems. I know better, but still flounder. I know recovery is a process but I just want my life back and can't seem to claim it. I know this probably doesn't make any sense, just letting my fingers do the talking. My son is a drug addict, my brother is bi-polar and a drug addict on parole, my husband is at his wits end and the pressure is mounting. I don't feel like I have the luxury of taking my time figuring this all out. Blah!