August 27, 2009

False Reality

Funny how we can convince ourselves that something we say, do or even provide to our addicted kids can actually have the ability to bring about change in them! I realized that I have been doing this lately. I have been thinking about how Zach is doing better than he was 6 months ago, how he is functioning in society better, not nodding off while standing up (in front of me anyways), going to college, looking for work, etc.

BUT...none of this has anything to do with me or what I might be able to offer to him. He is now on Prop. 36 probation, THAT is what is driving him to at least maintain a bit better.

I still believe if he is approachable then I will approach, and if he is not receptive, I will retreat.
Funny how our minds like to play around and make us think we are more powerful and in control of things. The only thing I am in control of is my own recovery, which is what I need to be busy concerning myself with:)


Susan DeAngelis said...

There's very little we have control over, in my opinion.

But I'd like to think the love and respect we give to our children helps them to love and respect others and themselves.

You're a wonderful parent,

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Oh, I love the new look! Sue is right, you are a wonderful parent.

I will never forget when my son nodded off while standing on the scale at the doctor's office - he was there to get suboxone, I guess it proved that he needed it?? He'll be on Prop 36 too when he gets out, probably next week. I don't know too much about it but I guess I will learn as we go. I'm down here in Orange County.

Lou said...

What makes me sad reading is that he is better..compared to what. We lower our standards about what is normal, right, or moral when addiction takes over our lives. It took me a long, long time to figure out I didn't have to sink down with it.

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

Sue, I agree, except that love and respect fly out the window when they are using opiates/drugs. Thank you and you also are a wonderful parent:)

Barbara, where I live, they have to go to 2 closed meetings a week, 2 outside meetings a week and pass randsom drug tests. If they are first offenders, they can get 3 violations before having to do jail/prison time. You are a wonderful mom too!

Lou, I know, I realized it even as I was writing it. I always seem to be justifying his actions. It has been the hardest thing I have ever had to experience, but I am progressing so that is good.

Thank you all for your posts, as usual it helps me:)

Syd said...

Very true about the control over another. I don't have it for sure. I hope that he finds out how great life can be... by living.

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

Thanks Syd, me too.