August 5, 2009

Another loss

Lost my sweet aunt yesterday. In the past two years I lost my mom, sister and now my aunt who was like a second mom to me. I have grieved so much for these losses and for my son and brother who both are addicts, that I find it hard to cry anymore? Just for now I am sure, but for two years I have been a flood gate of tears, allowing myself to greive. I am so tired of greiving and the lack of luster in my own life. I am trying to claim some life and fun for myself and my husband. Made plans for this Friday to go see a comedian, maybe I can express my emotions through laughter for a change?


eclexia said...

Praying for you tonight, that you really will find some relief and release through laughter on Friday. The sorrows and addictions won't go away while you laugh. They'll still be there, afterwards, so I hope you do find it possible to let them sit quietly for an hour or two and thoroughly enjoy yourself, with your husband. Laughter really can be an outlet, like tears, even for our sorrows.

I'm so sorry for the losses you've had piling up for a while now--the ones that are final with death, and the ones, like your brother's and son's addictions, that leave the bitter fear of death and uncertainty in your heart, at all times.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I am so sorry for your losses. I do hope you can get some release through laughter or tears or whatever it takes.

indistinct said...

Just wanted to add that your not alone, that many of us walk similar journeys as you, and that we get through holding each others hands.

Keep on sharing your tears, your anger, your frustrations over being powerless, your love, your joy, on these pages. It helps keep all of us sane.

Take care.

Tall Karen said...

I can so relate to the losses and tears of sorrow and experiencing grief. I hope you do get a chance to laugh. I know it helps me so much when I can just let go and laugh my ass off.

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

Oh my, thank you all so much for your beautiful, thoughtful and kind responses to my posting. I can feel the support and love jumping off the page and it is so needed right now. Thank you all!!