August 25, 2009
I had an interesting experience tonight with my counselor. It was pretty much like a meditation experience with some major intensity thrown in for good measure. How fascinating it is to watch your own body experience sadness, anger, frustration, disappointment, fear, anxiety, panic and numbness. To really sit with my own body while experiencing different emotions and just accepting the emotion and then breathing it out to release it. I found that my body is so inflicted with stress and tension that I actually feel anxiety when it starts to relax, because it is a foreign sensation. I am uncomfortable in my own body in a relaxed state because I am always tense and ready for battle. I already knew this about myself, but to sit with it in full acceptance and just watch, WOW, mind blowing to watch stress actually eat away at my physical being. I will be more mindful of the effects stress is having on my body and learn to relax into it with acceptance and then release it.