August 17, 2009
Drain on the Brain
I feel numb....just can't make a decision and am just sitting with things. My son came home last night like nothing was wrong of course. I didn't jump down his throat but was not completely pleasant with him either. My brother came out to our house Saturday afternoon, hadn't eaten and no where to really stay. My brother is a dual diagnosis and has been in and out of prison basically for testing dirty on parole. He self medicates. My mother, God rest her sould, enabled him and he has never had to take care of himself. He stayed a couple of weeks with us and we helped him get started back on his Social Security funds for six months until they complete the evaluation steps. He received it for some years and had a payee, but they sent him two checks back to back at the end of July with his name only. He left our house, spent the checks on drugs and whatever. He is a kind soul but very lost. He came out and stayed a couple of nights and we did not discuss him going into town (we live a bit out from our town). My husband woke up today, angry that both my son and brother were there (didn't show this earlier, just Monday morning of course). He said they would not be staying in the house while we were away and that my brother had his weekend and he wasn't playing this game with him anymore. Now mind you, my brother worked his ass off at our house for his keep and is always polite and helpful, stays out of the way, unlike my son. I did not have time to talk to my brother this morning and he was confused about leaving the house as we had previously let him stay. Now I understand the whole frustration of this situation for my husband, but the way he handled it to me was just wrong. I think things should be discussed openly and my brother and myself given a heads up last night at least about what was happening today. I told my husband he is not to treat him so angrily as it just confuses him and causes resentment for everyone, including him. I told him we need to discuss things, not just do it his way at his whim without any communication. I know I am probably enabling my brother but I have lost so many family members in the past year and a half, I just like to spend time with him when he is able to be clear headed. UGH!!!!!!! I hate addiction and people who do not try to understand it, like my husband.