June 1, 2010
Trying to have Patience!
Update on Z. He left the Rehab after 38 days yesterday to a sober living house 30 minutes from where we live in the next town over. As you may recall he was only able to get funding for 30 days through his probation/drug program because he was "doing so well" on the Prop. 36 program. The rehab gave him and extra 8 days and the sober living house is working with him until his assistance/job come through. I am proud of him for making these choices and proud of me for giving him the dignity to do it on his own, in his own power without any of my real "help" or "fixing". I am nervous and continue to fight negative future projecting thoughts. I know that all I have is the NOW, and that is the only thing. Right NOW my son is living on his own terms in a sober living house with 39 days clean. That is it. I pray each and every day that God keep providing my son with good solid mentors and support people to assist in his conquering his addiction. I ask the same for myself with my codependent issues. My son does have a sponsor and is working the steps. All I can do is have hope this is his time to get well and let it go.
I have been reading a lot and trying to comment. So much going on with everyone. I wanted to thank Dad for his post here, it was very helpful and the dialogue we all have is so important to our growth. I have grown so much since I first started blogging, it is fascinating to me to go back and read earlier posts compared to current posts. It gives me hope. I have not been writing as much as I am trying to heal physically, but you are all in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers during my down time, now please just pray that I will have the patience to give myself time to heal. Hope you all have a great week ahead.
Much Love and gratitude to you all.