June 21, 2010

A second job and some slips?

I will make this post short as I am at work.  My son now has two jobs, the one at Jack in the Box and another full time job in the daytime putting up awnings for patios.  He is working seven days a week from 8-4 p.m. and will maybe work a couple of evenings at the other place.  He is also playing softball for an NA team on Friday nights, so this is all positive but does not leave a lot of time for his program and he is still pretty fresh.

I picked him up for a BBQ we had for Father's Day yesterday.  He has a "girlfriend" who also recently went through the same rehab he did but is now living in a woman's sober living house.  It smells like trouble to me and I overheard him talking to his sponsor in the car, sounds like he is discouraging it, but Z isn't having it.  She seems nice but has many heavy issues and her drug of choice is the same as Z's.  He also seemed a bit "off" last night, like he was high.  I am not sure if Suboxone can make someone seem high or not.  I am supposed to talk to the doctor/nurse that is supplying him with it so they can clear up some questions for me.  I tried to bite my tongue and did a pretty good job of it.  The girl came with him to dinner and it all went well, he was just off at the end of the night.

It makes me a bit nervous, but I will just continue to pray and let go, pray, and let go......Not my business, keep my own side of the street clean.  Stay out of his way, so he can live out his journey in God's will and time, not mine.  Whew, hard sometimes, but I am getting better at taking care of me. 

Just felt I had to get this out.  Hope everyone is doing well, I have been reading and posting comments often. Going to a meeting tonight and family group on Wednesday, sponsor call on Tuesday, hoping to start my first step. 

Renee

10 comments:

Bristolvol said...

Two people together with the same affliction is not necessarily a good thing. I speak from experience. I also feel that our addicted kids more often than not are seeking out partners who will "understand" their problems. Often they end up enabling each other. You are wise to be concerned and even wiser to stay out of it.

LisaC said...

Renee, you are doing great; and you are letting your son take care of his life. Ultimately that is what he has to do. I know how hard it is (and I often step back into Bryan's world where I don't belong) but that is all we can do...one step at a time, like we ask of them. He is working hard and seemingly doing the right things, so take a second and rejoice in that.

Kathy M. said...

In my line of sponsorship, we often suggest a relationship moratorium in early recovery. More broadly, we recommend not making any big changes for six months to a year. The reason is that in early recovery we are just beginning to figure out who we are under all the layers of this disease.

I can say this to my sponsees because they have invited me into their lives to offer such advice. Unfortunately, as you pointed out, when it comes to my alcoholic, I am powerless. That's the job of my loved one's sponsor. I keep my opinions to myself.

Love and hugs to you.

Syd said...

Good for you. What you wrote speaks of your recovery. It is so much better when the focus is on me and I'm not obsessing over what others are doing.

Em said...

I agree with Syd's comment, and I thank you for sharing. It must be so hard to be on the parenting end of an addict. I am an addict and I can only imagine the pain I have caused my family. By the grace of God I am in recovery.

Annette said...

I wish they wouldn't do that....get sober and then jump into a relationship! When H was in recovery she was told to give her recovery a year. She has never ever made it for that year and it has never turned out well. That is her story though...and she would say now, "Yep, should have waited that year." lol

But they seem to have to figure that out on their own. YOU sound great though! :o)

Her Big Sad said...

Yes! pray and let go, pray and let go.... So hard, but I agree with Bristolvol on this one - due to the circumstances you are wise to be concerned.... and even wiser to stay out of it. Prayers continue!

VJ said...

Sounds like you are on the right track. My son's cousnelor and sponsor both told him no relationship's for at least one year. My son is back on the streets and we have no communication so it's really easy for me to keep "MY" nose out of his business!

Anonymous said...

Isn't it so hard to be trusting of even our own instincts when we have been fooled so many times in the past? I find that I don't believe anything anymore.

A Mom's Serious Blunder said...

I always really like to read your posts they always bring some nugget of information. Thank you.