I was reading some of my older posts to review the journey I have been on, the support I have received and to just reflect. I wanted to give a quick update from some of those posts as I know I like to know how your loved ones and you are doing after some type of situation/crisis. I wanted you all to know that I did not break on the cell phone and my son to date does not have his turned on. Surprise, he is able to get a hold of his sponsor on a daily basis, which I figured. I did offer to purchase him some bus passes (he did not ask me for this). He was excited about that and thought it would be a good idea since he will need to be looking for work. He has settled into the sober living house but thinks his cash aid will not come through due to the possibility of the hanging felony (which will be dropped if he completes his probation). We discussed that and he stated he has a month to find work so I am hoping he can find something. I did purchase his N.A. books for him and we bought him a few groceries for the sober living place. I do not feel like I am enabling him with doing these things, maybe I am, but it felt good to offer something to him that I was o.k. with and had no expectations from. When he is working hard at his sobriety, I find myself wanting to offer some type of "hand up" to him, something I can live with.
I had to go to the town where he is living today for my post op appointment and we stopped by and took Z for a burger, then dropped him off at the rehab facility for a meeting. I am really starting to try and work on myself. I have a great sponsor, am finishing a reading assignment and hope to start working my steps soon. My relationship with God has become stronger and I find great comfort at the family group Al-Anon meetings I am attending.
I look back at my past posts and see the growth that both myself and my son have gone through. I know we both have a long way to go and really there is no true destination, it is just a continued growing and learning process of life. I am starting to allow some hope into my life, some positivity, which has long been missing. I look forward to the work ahead of me and working on myself instead of distracting my own issues with trying to fix other people. I don't think I would be to this point without having found this blogging community. My truth growth and open mindedness started with this blog and all of you. I love you guys!