June 3, 2010

You're Fired!

I went to my counseling meeting and family group meeting tonight.  I shared at both that I am now so aware of my negative future projective thinking and it is scary how much time I can spend doing it!  As you know my son is now out of the rehab in in a sober living facility.  He has 41 days clean and he seems to really be giving it his best.  I have noticed lately that I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting to be let down yet again.  I have been thinking soooo much that I have even questioned how good my distraction methods are, how good my prayer is, blah, blah, blah...I could go on forever. 

Anyways, my counselor told me basically it wasn't rocket science and when I caught myself thinking obsessively, then to distract with any number of the tools I have learned.  So then I go off to the family meeting and share my frustration at how crazy I feel and how hard it is to stop the stupid thoughts.  A woman at the meeting who is a recovering addict said several things that made since to me.  She is a tough woman who has four years clean and likes to tell it like it is.  She said when I am thinking uncontrolably, to not only give it to my higher power but to realize they are just thoughts and go to the mirror, look at myself and say "you're fired".  I LOVE this, it just says it all.  I am fired, I suck at being the boss and need to let the true boss, God, take over (not that I was ever truly in control). 

I hope I am not rambling too much but I was just super excited by this little gem and had to share, hope it helps someone else out there with "stinking thinking". 

Renee

9 comments:

Jan said...

Pretty Cool!!!! :-)

parentofanaddictcdcb said...

WOW! Has this ever hit home for me. H will soon be allowed some small freedoms in treatment (ie: the buddy system will be suspended. She will be allowed "out" without having someone with her.) and I keep doing the same as you. Waiting for the other shoe to drop in other words. So, your post is super timely. I am fired too! Because I'm doing such a poor job...I keep projecting and can't let go.

Jake's Mom said...

Just wanted to let you know that like other areas, you are not alone in the “stinking thinking” arena either!! I heard it said once from an addict, at an N.A. meeting that the mind is a very dangerous playground. This stuck with me because it is sooooo true and applies not only to addicts. I feel just like you do when the phone rings and I see it’s my son or his girlfriend (he doesn’t have a phone right now). I automatically tense up and think for a second whether or not to answer, of course I usually do. Jake hasn’t used for 5+ months, yet not one day has passed that I don’t feel like I’m waiting for the bottom to fall out. Jake isn’t using, but he’s not in recovery either. He isn’t working a program, going to meetings, no sponsor….thinks all he needs is counseling to work out some anger issues that just manifested in the last couple of years. It’s all so exhausting, isn’t it? That’s wonderful news that your son has 41 days clean and he’s giving it his best (good for him!!), that’s really all any of us can ask for from our addicts – “It works if you work it”!! Lifting you both in prayer!!

Syd said...

Yes, it makes sense. I rely on Step Three and when I am firmly in that step, then I am not in my distorted thinking.

Barbara said...

PS I think there is SO MUCH to be gained from recovering addicts with some time under their belt...this woman sounds like she has some valuable advice!

Barbara said...

I love it! Very easy to remember and useful :) I will start firing myself when I start going down that negative, worrisome road.

(I am so glad you are not really fired - your post had me worried for a second!)

Heather's Mom said...

Wow! What an awesome post. I always feel like I am reading about myself when I read your blog, I share so many of the same thought processes (sorry, not to insult you comparing me to you! lol)...
But I so appreciate how you write your thoughts.
Thanks for sharing that idea!
I guess we never know if they will or will not use again, but in the meanwhile, keep taking care of yourself as you have been :)
God bless.

Kathy M. said...

I love this. I'm going to remember it and pass it on. Do you think a Donald Trump wig might help? Love the illustration. Hugs.

Chic Mama said...

Thanks for sharing....a good piece of advice. X