December 12, 2009

I left Limbo Land

Thanks to all of you who have commented the past few days during my little co-dependent break down. I should NEVER have opened the check and should have just put return to sender, no forward given. I did not do that. I opened it, then stressed over what to do with it. It wasn't mine, I feel ashamed that I sunk back into my old behaviors. But, I made a decision today and right or wrong, stuck to it. I shredded the check. If another one comes, I will mark not at this address and send it back. My son is not truly living here. He comes and goes because he can't be in my home when he is actively high. I am not sure how to have a loving relationship with him when he is actively using, but I can't cut him compltely out of my life. So the reason for his coming and going. My boundaries over time seem to get more stern and held with conviction so I have faith that my path will go where it is supposed to as will his. Too bad it just isn't in my time or how I want it to be.

I know I may take heat for shredding the check but I just couldn't stand the thought of him spending school grant money to go on a major drug binge that could lead to his demise. I did what I did, it is done, I need to move forward now. A special thanks to Fractalmom for sticking with me on this and being a voice of experience, it helped me get out of Limbo Land, and yes, Limbo Land sucks!



Tall Kay said...

I cheered out loud! It was wrong to open it, but a very valuable lesson was learned. I think you did the right thing this time. Hugs to you Mom!

Madison said...

This brought a smile to my face. Nice job! Now you have to think about how you're going to remain calm and at peace while your son yells. Why do we continue to love these people?

Annette said...

You are is done. No one can tell you if how you handled it was right or wrong. Sometimes we just do the best we can and that is good enough. Sounds like this is one of those times. I think shredding was far better than handing it to him. You are doing fine. :o)

ChaiLatte said...

Glad you are out of Limbo Land! FractalMom really did nail that one! I love the idea of making a decision and just sticking with it. The places this insanity can take us... Hugs to you Renee!

Lou said...

There is a peace that comes with doing the right thing. That peace is not always immediate, but over time it makes you more and more confident in your decisions.
Bless ya' lady.

Debby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story said...

That took so much courage! I applaud you! Yes, your son will be furious, but you did what was morally right.
Now you know... the next time, return to sender.
We all learn this way. I learned by watching your example.
bless you.

Chic Mama said...

I'm pleased you feel better. Take care. x

Alix said...

You did the right thing, Renee. You and I have a lot in common, by the way. Can't wait to get to know you better so we can compare notes sometime.

Have you ever seen the A&E Program series "Intervention"? My son played in a band with someone who was on that program. Tim. Episode 29. It's a heartbreaker. Here's the URL address to the website if you're interested:

It's a difficult sobering show to watch, but it's like driving past a train wreck and trying not to look.

Anyway, thank you so much for visiting Casa Hice and becoming a Follower. I consider that a huge honor, and I'm here to return the favor.

♥ Alix

Syd said...

Renee, I like that you made a move that felt right to you. If it feels right inside, then I listen to that inner voice. You may have saved his life. Hang in there.