Thanks to all of you who have commented the past few days during my little co-dependent break down. I should NEVER have opened the check and should have just put return to sender, no forward given. I did not do that. I opened it, then stressed over what to do with it. It wasn't mine, I feel ashamed that I sunk back into my old behaviors. But, I made a decision today and right or wrong, stuck to it. I shredded the check. If another one comes, I will mark not at this address and send it back. My son is not truly living here. He comes and goes because he can't be in my home when he is actively high. I am not sure how to have a loving relationship with him when he is actively using, but I can't cut him compltely out of my life. So the reason for his coming and going. My boundaries over time seem to get more stern and held with conviction so I have faith that my path will go where it is supposed to as will his. Too bad it just isn't in my time or how I want it to be.
I know I may take heat for shredding the check but I just couldn't stand the thought of him spending school grant money to go on a major drug binge that could lead to his demise. I did what I did, it is done, I need to move forward now. A special thanks to Fractalmom for sticking with me on this and being a voice of experience, it helped me get out of Limbo Land, and yes, Limbo Land sucks!