Below is a list that Syd posted on his blog today. I loved it so and wanted to share it with anyone that might read my blog. Also, I will be posting an update later tonight I hope, more stuff with the little prince (Zach). Here is the list:
These are some guidelines for setting boundaries:
1. Give up any expectations about the outcome
2. Clearly define consequences that don't disrupt my serenity.
3. Set boundaries and communicate them clearly.
4. Enforce boundaries consistently.
5. Set boundaries without regard for the relationship
And these are some of the healthy boundaries that I now strive to use :
Keep my Mouth Shut-- I don't need to engage in arguments with another.
Live One Day at a Time-- I don't want to project about the future or rehash the past over and over.
Take Nobody's Inventory but My Own-- I don't need to browbeat another or try to convince them of my viewpoint. I just need to focus on my own behavior.
Focus on myself-- I pay attention to what I am thinking and feeling and reach out to others in the program when I am angry, lonely or tired.
I'm still far from being able to do all of these things consistently. But I have come to understand that having healthy boundaries is must better than not having any at all.
Thanks Syd for your wisdom!