December 28, 2009

All you need is Love

Tonight has been a bit random as I suppose my thoughts will be now. I came home from work and my brother is MIA. This usually makes me nervous about what state he will show up in as we are still trying to work with him to get his social security and a payee. He has been doing very well, but him disapearing usually is not a good sign. It rolled of my back tonight and I was a bit relieved to be home alone for a bit of time. My husband came home, we had dinner and were watching a little TV. My son came in to grab a few things, he seemed loaded. He mumbled a few words and left. My husband mentioned that he had heard from a friend that my son was arrested for drunk in public or something like that on Christmas night. I called him right after he left to inquire (probably shouldn't have). He wanted to know who told him, he was in a pissy mood and denied it but in such a way that I know he is lying of course. This rolled off my back!

I am a bit sad but mostly not too affected by all this which is a sign of progress. It is their journey, their lives to learn their lessons, I stayed out of the way tonight. We watched Intervention tonight on A&E (I never usually watch this, kind of upsetting). Anyways, it was a very sad show and it made me kind of sick to see how devastated the mother was and the fact that I could relate so well. It also made me kind of sick to see all the expensive rehab commercials during this show, come on people, let's not be so obvious with our capitalizaiton of saving the addicts for a pretty penny! Don't get me wrong, I am all for rehab, but am kind of tired of the comercialization of it all (I know I will probably take a little heat on this one).

At the end of the night we ended up watching a documentary on the making of the Beatles "Love" show in Vegas. It was just such a fantastic documentary to watch and if you have never seen the Love show in Vegas, it is SUPER and makes you kind of believe that all we need is love:)

We are leaving for our little place on the redwood coast this Wednesday night through Monday night. I am a bit apprehensive as I always am when leaving town with two active addicts in the family. We have secured a house sitter and are leaving regardless and I am determined to rest, read, laugh and just relax with my husband.


Madison said...

It sounds like you're walking through a war zone where the unexpected can happen at any minute. Very difficult. As for rehabs, if we're going to call addiction a true disease, no one should have to take out a second mortgage to get 30-90 days of treatment. I like to watch the show Intervention sometimes because it seems that the advice to families is always the same. While the families argue that their addict is different, the advice to families seems very similar. I found this to be true in my life too. It just took me a very long time to believe it. I'm glad you have some time away.

Fractalmom said...

I too hate the commercialization of rehabs. They definitely take advantage of families of addicts and most of them don't work anyway.

i especially hate for profit methadone clinics. i did the math once.

average of 500 addicts in the clinic.
each pays 100 dollars a week.


and their costs are about $500,000.

talk about PROFIT !!

no wonder they don't like to wean them off methadone or let them out of rehab if they are private pay!!

Sherry said...

Have a wonderful time and I pray for peace and happiness for you!

Anonymous said...

Have a wonderful time, you deserve it. I agree with you about the rehab. It only works if the addict wants to get clean and stay that way. My daughter, an oxy addict, has been in rehab 3 or 4 times, always under pressure after her friends found out she was using again. She owes large amounts of money to the rehab place, but she does not care. She has learned so much in rehab, she could run the place! But even with two little ones now, she is still using and I have no contact with her. It's been almost two years since I have seen her and I have never seen my grandchildren. I know about people who have gone through rehab successfully, so there is definitely a place for these institutions. I believe if they are made to check into rehab, the relapse rate increases dramatically. Anyway, my two cents worth.
God bless,

Kathy M. said...

There is a book my Al-Anon sponsor gave me after working one of the steps. It's called "The Greatest Thing," and it's a book-length meditation on the "love" verse in Corinthians in the bible. You know, the one that's always read at weddings: "love is patient, love is kind..." Anyway, the bottom line of the book was something like "all you need is love." Because if we truly loved the people around us, there would be no need for 10 commandments, because we would never steal from someone we loved, or covet their wives, or commit adultery. In short, we would always do the right thing. Anyway, it might be an oversimplification. After all, doesn't enabling come from love? But it gave me something to think about. Your post reminded me of it.

I hope you have a nice trip and find some peace.

Syd said...

Good for you to take care of yourself. I haven't watched Intervention. It doesn't seem like something that I would want to watch. I hope that you can just enjoy your time away and realize that your son and brother have a Higher Power too.

Lou said...

I watched Intervention once, it was a heroin addict son running all over his single, low income mother. It made me want to throw up, so that was the end of that.

My opinion is that rehabs help people who have already woke up enough to know how sick they are. Everybody could burn stacks of money, and get the same result. Sure there is the exception, but it is just that--the exception.

Enjoy your trip, you deserve it!

Annette said...

I agree about the rehab money machine. Our 25th anniversary is next month and we are both hesitant to leave to celebrate. I am determined though....our son said he will come and stay. We will see. You inspire me to push onward for our little weekend getaway.

sydney said...

I do believe we were watching the same Beatles Love documentary. I am glad there was a bright star for you in the midst of the darkness.

sydney said...

Whoa Just read Fractal Moms comment.... yeeeeeeeeeeah. May as well open a fricken Methadone clinic! Jesus mary and joseph! I've always found methadone treatment a skeptical option. I mean wouldn't any sane person just want to be completely and unequivocally "DONE"?! I know I would. I'd rather go through the 3+ weeks of misery getting off the drug for good rather than the 3+ years of misery and extra damage to my brain weaning off of it slowly. You know Methadone DOES damage your body.

Chic Mama said...

Oh I'm so sorry this is so hard. Lots of things I read I can relate to so much. They remind me of little 'incidents' that use to happen when my husband was with us.
I hope you get to relax on your couple of days away, you deserve to. Take care. xx

Barbara aka Layla said...

Hey I read this last night and thought I commented! Guess I didn't.

Have a wonderful time with your husband. I hope its very relaxing and romantic :)