My son signed up for a junior college for his first time this fall semester. He also signed up for financial aid and attended school until about three weeks ago. When he came back home last Thursday, one of our discussions was his financial aid. He had received a notice in the mail indicating he was awarded financial aid and that after checking records they would send the check. I told him they may not after checking to see if he dropped, and that even if they did it would be wrong for him to cash it. We had a bit of a disagreement over this and then I let it drop.
Well, the check showed up in the mail today ($2,007). I was caught a bit off guard as I thought for sure the school would have checked his records and see he was not in compliance. He called tonight and said that if the check showed up to please tell him, and not hide it from him and send it back. He stated he wants to pay off all of his fines, get his driver's license back with the money. This is a grant, not loan money. I advised him on Thursday that I did not feel it was right that he only attend for about 1/2 semester and then take money that would basically either have to be paid back, or at minimum if he wanted to attend college again with aid he would be put on probation.
So, I already know the answer, and I am pretty sure I know that any comments to this post will match that answer. I guess i just need to see it in writing from other people. I feel like if I do give him the check (because it is HIS), then I want to tell him that he either puts the money to good use or he leaves. So that is probably bargaining, right? That is enough money for one heck of an overdose and it is also the principle of it that really bugs me. I didn't raise my child to take advantage of the system trying to assist him, of course I didn't think I raised him to be addicted to opiates either.
I feel like I have to tell him tomorrow the check is here but not sure what to do after that. I hate this, HATE it. My codependent self is rearing her ugly little head. I am so afraid of what he will do with that much money. I know I need to look that fear in the eye and move forward, I guess I am just wanting you all to tell me that or something.