Yesterday was a really hard day. I went with my husband to a nearby town to receive the results from my blood work that I was a bit concerned about throughout the past couple of weeks. I kept myself pretty calm up until yesterday. Being someone with a long standing anxiety disorder, which has been under control for many years, I do still tend to worry much more than I should.
I walked out of the doctor's office thinking I knew what he had said but as is often the case, had many questions arise as the night wore on. Basically my "M Spike" was high which means I have a high protein level in my blood. He showed me some other stuff that was on the tests that were negative and said he was going to call his blood specialist colleague to make sure no further tests were needed. He kind of beated around the bush and I am sure he didn't want to alarm me. He never even said "blood cancer", but I knew from a time my mom was checked. He didn't seem like he was too concerned.
On the way to the doctor my husband had informed me that something small was missing out of his truck and he had a blow out with both my son and brother. When we got home I had a talk with them and my husband seperately. I went for a walk with my brother and son and came back as we all sat down to dinner with my step-son who just moved back to town. Tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. My husband is angry, I don't blame him. My son and brother are upset, each saying they don't know what he is talking about and that neither had the opportunity to take the item missing and adament that they hadn't. At this point, I am just fed up and scared. I started to cry, my husband started to cry, we are scared.
Tension is still high today in the house. I am at work, called my counselor and the doctor to try and get more info. He is out of the office today of course, but his nurse tried to assure me that if he thought it was anything real terrible he would have dealt with it yesterday.
We have a busy weekend as it is time for the annual Rodeo in our town (one of the largest 3 day rodeos). We have box seats and have gone for years promoting my husband's business. Neither of us wants to even deal with it but my step-son hasn't been able to go in three years and the box is paid for. Might be a nice diversion? UGH!
I am praying and trying to stay present. My son is still on track for Rehab, but no bed until 5/4/10. He is meeting all the boundaries (except this thing missing that he swears he knows nothing about and may very well not). Please place us on your prayer list, although I know that many of you pray for us anyways, I could use just a little extra I think right now.
I have been reading, just not feeling like blogging for obvious reasons. Miss and care for you all.