April 12, 2010
Feeling Uncomfortable with My New Way of Behavior
So as an update, my son is still at our house. He went to his probation appointment this morning and checked in with his drug and alcohol counselor. The counselor advised him that he has not received the funding and it could be another week..ugh! Things have been going pretty well with him at the house. He has been taking small amounts of suboxine, which I have dispensed to him. I would rather do that than deal with him detoxing in my home, he can do that in rehab with medical professionals. He has been following the rules/boundaries to date.
As for me, I find that when I step back, bite my tongue, realize when I am heading into saying or doing something that goes against my own recovery, I feel uncomfortable, almost anxious. I belive it is because I am so used to behaving in a codependent way, that when I catch myself and don't, it leaves me feeling somewhat uneasy, anxious and kind of lost and alone. I know this is probably normal and will pass as I progress. I am going to a meeting tonight, found that I look forward to my weekly Monday night meeting, no matter how small it is (sometimes 2-3 people).
I hope you all have a fantastic week. I pray my son is able to get into rehab sooner rather than later, that the funding is provided this week and he will be ready to go. I pray for all your loved ones who are struggling also, that they may seek out recovery and obtain restored health. Peace to us all.