Last week my counselor gave me some homework. She asked me to write down all the things I am angry about and to put them in categories, such as the things I am angry about in relation to my son, husband, brother, work, etc. So tonight I take her the list, a two page type written list that had been shortened! One of the first things she noticed about my list was that my son was at the top of the list with the most entries, followed by my hubby, my job, my brother, my dead mom and sister, then me. Yep, I put myself last subconsciously!
So then she asked me to pick three things off the whole list to start with that I wanted to work on..you guessed it, not one of them had to do with the stuff listed under my name. Just found this interesting and very telling to say the least.
I picked one for my son, job and hubby. We only got to the first two. I am setting a couple of new boundaries with my son. No phone calls to each other while I am at work; no talking to me about any illegal activity he may be involved in and no talking to me about his drug use. She also gave me a few tips on how to get my head into a peaceful space when and if the next big fall comes.
Please send a prayer out for my son Z. He is in a very dark place right now and I am trying my hardest to stay present and remember there is nothing I can do, and try and believe that he is in the exact place he needs to be for his soul's journey at this very moment.
I have had a hard time keeping up with commenting/posting as I can not use my work computer any longer to comment. I have had a busy week, but I am here in spirit.
Renee
12 comments:
I am praying for you and your son right now. There is nothing you can do, that's right. It will run like it is until he decides to change.
Secretia
I said an extra prayer for Zach (safety, healing, wrapped in God's light) and you (peace, healing, happiness...even in the small things)!
I'm sure glad I didn't make that list. Bet that bullet only missed me by an inch. ;-)
Hopefully it will turn out ok.
Try not to assume the worst and try to stay positive. Most of the time the outcome is better than expected. Boundaries are a good step in the right direction. Praying for you and your son.
what a great idea!! I am going to give this post (edited) to Pint's counselor. I think this would be a great way for Pint to express and manage her anger.
what a wise counselor you have.
and start to work!!
I read a while back about a sponsor who asked their complaing sponsee to make a list of the things that bothered them in the world. Sometime after that he suggested they make a gratitude list. We ge eventually had them pull out both lists, most of the items were the same! It really can be all about us and how we feel at any given point, at least for me. Have a good one!
I hope that you will focus on yourself. I know that is hard, but it helped me a lot to know that there was nothing I could do to save, fix, or control another.
Dear Renee,
Of course I will keep your son in my prayers. My daughter is also in a very dark place, and I am trying to remind myself the very same thing.
Love and hugs to you.
Wow! Sounds like you've found a great counselor and are working hard on the issues to bring you serenity.
Will keep Z in my prayers!
God bless.
Praying for you and Z, and the work you are doing with your counselor... For peace for you and even a little lightness of your heart. ((Hug))
I am so impressed with your bounderies and Thank you...and you are one of the first blogs that I have been reading in the addiction blogosphere. So glad you are here.
Oh and of course I am praying for Z!
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