March 24, 2010
Last week my counselor gave me some homework. She asked me to write down all the things I am angry about and to put them in categories, such as the things I am angry about in relation to my son, husband, brother, work, etc. So tonight I take her the list, a two page type written list that had been shortened! One of the first things she noticed about my list was that my son was at the top of the list with the most entries, followed by my hubby, my job, my brother, my dead mom and sister, then me. Yep, I put myself last subconsciously!
So then she asked me to pick three things off the whole list to start with that I wanted to work on..you guessed it, not one of them had to do with the stuff listed under my name. Just found this interesting and very telling to say the least.
I picked one for my son, job and hubby. We only got to the first two. I am setting a couple of new boundaries with my son. No phone calls to each other while I am at work; no talking to me about any illegal activity he may be involved in and no talking to me about his drug use. She also gave me a few tips on how to get my head into a peaceful space when and if the next big fall comes.
Please send a prayer out for my son Z. He is in a very dark place right now and I am trying my hardest to stay present and remember there is nothing I can do, and try and believe that he is in the exact place he needs to be for his soul's journey at this very moment.
I have had a hard time keeping up with commenting/posting as I can not use my work computer any longer to comment. I have had a busy week, but I am here in spirit.