Fair warning, this is going to be a ramble of a post. I feel so overpowered right now by my son and his addiction. First of all my husband and brother went to paint a house we have on the coast so they are not home for 5 days. What I thought would be a nice night to rest and get better (been pretty sick) ended up not being near that. I got home and know that my son broke into the house, he said the back door was unlocked but I am pretty positive I locked it. There was a scheduled power outage at my home today so he was outside doing his homework. Anyways, I let it go after telling him never to do it again and made some soup while he did some chores. We ate dinner and talked a bit, then I called my cousin and we both spoke with her on the phone, overall, not bad at this point. I noticed while I was on the phone that he was going in and out of the house quite a bit and seemed odd. I usually can tell when he is not right but tonight wasn't positive, that is until a few minutes ago. He went into his room and layed down (at 8:30 pm). I walked in and tried to wake him, took a while so he is for sure high. I kind of yelled a little and told him I thought I should take him into town. Of course I can't move him and he just said no. I told him to set his alarm for school tomorrow because I wasn't waking him up and would leave without him. Told him I didn't want to see him like this at my home ever again (this has been said way too many times with no action). What am I to do, call the cops? I am sick and my husband is gone, I just don't want to deal with it. Now I feel like I have to go to his door for a few hours to make sure he is breathing. I feel so sad, angry and frustrated all at once. I feel helpless and overpowered. I have given his addiction my power. At least for today. I pray to God he makes it through this. At least when he does drugs away from me I don't have to see it, out of sight out of mind kind of thing. I don't know what to do right now, feel too weak to deal with it so I will do nothing. If there are any of you that feel this lost right now, please share with me, I feel so alone tonight. I just had to write, my fingers are just typing without me even thinking I am so afraid and angry. God help me and my son, God help us all who are struggling with this demon. Sorry for the ramble to any who read this, just had to get it out somewhere. I feal like such a weak person and such a failure for not following through with my boundaries and letting myself and my son down.