October 28, 2009

The Calm Before The Storm


You know that feeling, when your addicted adult child has been off running around, not really checking in, kind of MIA but you know they are around.  Well that has been this past week and a half for me.  My step-son is in town and leaving tomorrow and my son has been hanging with him at their friends' houses (I use the term friend loosley here).  Anyways, I am pretty sure my son hasn't attended his college courses for the past two weeks as he was sick last week, and pretty sure he hasn't gone this week.  He was excused from his probation drug classes last week, but not this week and he had a probation meeting he was supposed to go to today.  I have no idea if he has done any of the things he is supposed to do and made no effort to call and remind him or take any action.  As a matter of fact it has been pretty peaceful at my home and to be honest I really don't want him to come home.  I know he will be popping in tonight and if not, tomorrow for sure.  I am just dreading it and feeling bad that I am put in the position to have to feel that way.  I am getting pretty worn down with all the addiction drama, really.  I am making no plan right now and am just going to try and stay present and let whatever is going to happen come about.  I just feel a storm brewing though....

BTW, I don't see spell check when I go to post anymore??

8 comments:

Chic Mama said...

I don't think anyone would blame you for feeling that way at all. There is only so much one can take, you are only human after all. You've done everything you possibly could for him. Give yourself a break. Take care.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I don't see spell check either but I use Firefox and in underlines all the mispelled words as I type.

I am sorry you are going through this. Its not fair when parents do their best, love their kids and want only the best for them - but have to live in the middle of a horrifying drama. I don't know how to NOT let if affect you. I am so glad my son is gone right now, its like I have my life back...and now I feel guilty and selfish for saying that :(

ChaiLatte said...

I hope the storm passes with little damage... You have every right to feel peaceful when you're left alone- don't feel guilty about that.

Sherry said...

It sounds like you are handling it very well!

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

So I guess I shouldn't try to forecast because he showed up tonight, has been to school the past couple of days and was sober! We all went to dinner tonight and had a very enjoyable evening. Another lesson why I should not project or "forecast the storms". Thanks for the support as always.

Syd said...

Good it seems as if you are keeping the focus on yourself and not trying to be his Higher Power. He has his own. Good for you.

Lou said...

No drama dinners are the best!

Cheri said...

So very happy that your fears were unfounded!

Just dropping by to let you know that we posted something at Glass House yesterday that might be of encouragement to you, and we also shared your blog for prayer purposes. You can read it here: http://glasshouseministries.blogspot.com/2009/11/breathing-life-into-dead-places.html

Hang in there,
Cheri and Wayne