February 15, 2010
Connecting the Mind with the Body
Much has happened since my last post. My wrist still hurts and it amazes me how much a person who is right handed actually uses their left hand for everyday tasks! I am managing and it is slowly healing.
We are on vacation at the coast right now (since this last Friday). The week before we left home was quite eventful to say the least. My brother had one of his bipolar episodes and decided to try and journey down a rain soaked downhill trail. He fell and ended up breaking his collar bone. I won't go into that much other than to say he is healing and there is now a date set for his Social Secuity hearing.
My son came out to our house on Thursday night and asked if he could stay the night with us. He seemed straight and so I allowed him to stay. He shared with me that he bought a few suboxine and was trying to get clean. He expressed his desire to get and stay clean and to stop selling to obtain drugs and/or essentials. I let him speak and bit my tongue as much as I could. He wanted to stay another night with us but I advised him we would be leaving on vacation and he is staying at a place he rented with a friend. We sent him on his way with some left over grocery items we had at the house. I told him I loved him and to do what he needed to get healthy. We had a lot of conversation and most of it I was able to keep my "advice" at bay. He has no job, no money, no food other than what we gave him. He seems so lost, is on probation and they have started testing him more (thank you God).
The peace that comes with just allowing my son to be who he is right now is amazing to me. I still feel great sorrow and sadness for his struggles and that nagging little voice that says he could OD any minute, but I hear it, watch that thought go by and don't react. I have learned so much in a year it just astonishes me. I think my son is pretty blown away by my newfound behaviors (or lack thereof) also.
Even though I have a peaceful feeling as it relates to those around me and not getting up in their business, accepting them and letting go, I still am having difficulty in taking good physical care of myself. So, this week I am walking 1/2 hour a day no matter what and listening to my body during activities, when I eat or decide to do something that sounds fun but may not be what my body needs, etc. I truly need to learn to connect my body, mind and spirit. This has been something I have struggled with my entire life. It has been something I have been aware I struggle with it only the past few years of my life. I pray each day that I will learn to treat myself better and to be aware of my own needs.
I have missed you all and have caught up some on the reading/posting. I will be away until next Monday, then back at work, but for now I am enjoying myself. I find that while on vacations I truly live my life and stay in the present moment, enjoying what comes my way. I am determined to bring this back into my everyday life.
Thanks for all the well wishes on the wrist. My body is talking and telling me to go to bed now, so I am listening.
Good night for now...Renee