Update on Rehab Poll--Wow, I am astonished at all the comments the poll from my previous post brought in. I am meeting with my son and his drug counselor at the State ran rehab tonight and am a little nervous. As you know, his funding has ran out, I spoke with his counselor on the phone on Friday and asked him if Z could get a job to pay. Because he is on probation and the rehab is in another county, he said that the logistics of that would not work when it came to probation and his finding work, transportation to and from, etc. I obsessed about it, went to a meeting on Friday night and have tried not to think about it, just trying to give it to God. I am going with an open mind and see what happens in the moment. His "other" drug counselor from probation called me today and did state that the unlicensed sober living place way up in the hills close to our area is free, and he would pick him up from rehab and take him up there next Monday if Z agreed to go. I also printed out a couple of other options, the info for the Teen Challenge in Sacramento and another place that is also a year long faith based program, to give to him. I may not end up giving them to him, I want to hear what, if anything, he has done to secure a place. There is a part of me (probably the co-dependent or mother part) that wants to see if they will take payments or discount the cost of his current rehab for an extended 30 days. The counselor did ask me what if anything I could afford, and I have to admit I struggled with that. I mean, on one hand the counselors encourage you to stay out of the way, then on the other they try to get your money, which I am told is getting in his way!
I have to say, I will be re-reading all the comments from this poll and I like that Syd threw in a bit of old school twist (that is what I thought when I read it). I remember when I was younger, there were no rehabs, at least that I knew of. They say statistically it is 10 percent successful rate, but then they say every time they go it is important to their recovery. For an obsessive codependent, this makes it all the more confusing. I am just going to trust that God will guide me tomorrow, I have to, can't think about it to death.
On another note, I did Relay for Life this year, my first time. I was co-captain of two teams, bit off a bit much for my first go around. It was so moving and inspirational and I was able to grieve and rejoice with others that had been through watching a loved one go through the terrible death cancer can bring. I can't say enough about my weekend and how it touched me to my soul, other than I haven't slept since Friday night and am exhausted. Our county raised $162,000.00 for the cause this year, the most they have ever raised. I am proud of that.
I thank you all for your comments and hope this poll helped someone other than myself. Your input is always of great value to me.
Renee
18 comments:
I haven't paid for treatment for my son as an adult. I am still paying (through the nose) for 8 months of treatment he went through at 16. I know this makes it a different situation in that he was still a child (like at almost 20 he's not still a child?). I get that they have to take ownership of their recovery but I still have trouble letting go & letting God...I guess I think God needs my assistance. Anyway, I have run into the same problem you're facing...he's an adult, not in school so I can't carry him on insurance, he has no job, no money...so what now?? We've looked into state paid programs but they aren't easy to get into due to overcrowding...there's apparently a lot of addicts with no jobs, money or insurance. This has been a huge frustration for me!! I'm curious myself to read the comments you get to this post.
What happened before rehabs? What about his going to meetings in AA or NA and getting sober there? I guess that I don't see that rehabs are necessarily the only way to go. If he wants to get sober, he will find a way.
Our insurance paid once when she was still 18 and then we paid once...about 10,000 for 90 days, when she was 19. And now we are done. There is no money left and even if there was, I don't think we would do it again. She would have to figure out a way to get funding if she really wanted to be there. Is your son working on the funding aspect at all? Talking to his counselor, convincing him that he wants to be there and that it is really important to him. I know that there are places that will waive their fee or let the person get well for awhile and then do volunteer service within the facility to pay their way. H did that also...was a volunteer staff member. She did everything from patient intake and discharge, phone interviews, to painting the office. lol This is really your son's problem to address though.
Also...what about the salvation army or Teen challenge? Both are free. Probably out of your area...but that sometimes is how it has to be. Sometimes that is a good thing...to get away from all old contacts. Have a fresh start.
My almost 18 year old is on my insurance being covered. but the deal is - once 18 I will not foot this bill.
If he wants to waste money and time by not doing what he needs to do, then when he is an adult - it will be his money and his time.
I am praying that this rehab he is nin nnow gets through to him and that there wont be another time...
One more thing, when my insurance runs out in Illinois for his gateway program then there is a program where public aid picks up the cost - I think it is at 60 days.
wow....I almost hate to post this...but here I am doing so...we first paid for a wilderness camp treatment program for troubled teens...that was $24,000(!)...and then he stayed for an extra extended time...ended up to be just under $35,000 altogether! Although it really was an excellent program and he did very well there...he ended up relapsing later on and then later went to an insurance paid program for 30 days. Even later on (ugh), believe it or not...he went to a 3rd place that cost $2,800 and since then has been clean....is doing very well now. (Don't even ask me about lawyer's fees !) As I said....this is kind of embarassing. I now want to see someone who's spent more,..please ?
Oh there are many who have spent more. :o( Mortgaged their homes, sold their belongings, took out loans. When you think you are on a mission to save your child you will do just about anything to get the job done. Then you learn that really its your adult child's job to get done. We can't cure it, no matter how much money we spend.
We spent almost $40,000 out of pocket, after insurance, which was hardly nothing! It was an excellent program! A ranch on 500 acres for troubled teen boys. He was a new kid after his 8 month stay. He did relapse several months after coming home, but I have no regrets. He learned wonderful life skills and still today, 3 years later, thanks me for that opportunity. He may not use what he learned like I wish he would, but what he learned was I grained and I believe that these skills will help him and gave helped him at different times. I had to do what I could for him at that time and I'm I glad I did even though the war rages on. For today he's doing alright, but tomorrows a different day and he still has a lot to deal with and rake care of. I count my blessings!!
Wow! I'm feeling really lucky right now. My daughter has been to 6 rehabs since she was 15. She is going into her 7th next week and we have never had to pay. The wait times have usually been 4-6 weeks. Although this time it'll only be 2 1/2.
There are private rehabs in Canada. They run from about 400.00 a day...As a single mom for 8 of my daughter's growing up years it was something I could never afford. So it always had to be state funded.
There just aren't enough of them though. (At least in Ontario) Especially for women. And especially transitional type housing for after the original rehab stint is over.
If my (adult) son shows up one day on our doorstep and says he is ready for rehab, I will take him to the homeless shelter in Raleigh, which has a social worker, meetings, and works with local churches and the salvation army. I will hug him, tell him I love him and drop him at the door without one regret. He has a Higher Power and it isn't me. Took me 6 years to accept that. ::hugs::
♥namaste♥
I feel like I "get the award" for shelling out the most money! LOL Bryan never researched or found anything that was free; and honestly I didn't realize at the time we had options. I thought you paid or there was no treatment available (a lot of this was before I connected with this awesome community)...So insurance covered two detox stays and then intensive outpatient treatment at Loma Linda BMC; I personally paid $17,000 for rapid medical detox... I drew the line at another $12,000 for a two week stay in the fancy house with the personal chef (obviously this one didn't work); and then after the overdose, we sent him to the Narconon in-patient 4-6 month program and for him, that seemed to be the one. He is now completing his training to work there; and has agreed to a 2-year contract of employment. Hallelujah!
I personally believe that each individual program is only as good as the addict wants it to be. I believe in 12-step and the BMC program is based on 12-step and meetings; but for Bryan he wasn't willing or able to really make that work for him. He went to a zillion meetings by the way.
We have been lucky that we could afford rehab (we laughingly use to call it his college fund...ha ha...as I'm sure others have as well). And after the second detox and outpatient program that didn't work we said out loud we were done "financially supporting" his attempts to get clean. It would be up to him.
The OD changed the game for me; and because he has been successful so far (6 1/2 months clean with what appears to be a future at this time), I don't regret the decision. I don't know honestly how I would feel about it if he had not done his part to make this work.
Syd made an important comment - if HE wants to get sober, he will find a way. In addition to the Salvation Army and Teen Challenge mentioned above, a friend of mine's son is SOBER (heroin) and thriving/doing awesome - she sent him clear across the country to the Dream Center in St. Louis. It is free, but only accepts males. She has told me a lot about the program and I've seen pictures of her son there - it really seems nice!
As far as paying - we were PLANNING on paying for Heather - for the first month only - ($40,000 first month, then $5k less each month each month after up to 90 days). BUT, she had the accident money AND BUT, things didn't go as planned w/ the intervention (understatement!) and in OUR situation IF it ever went that way AT THIS POINT we do not plan on paying. BUT, Heather is working through things her own way. Where she stands now, I think NA, AA, Al-Anon and church are where she will end up if she choses. That's my answer on what we did/I would do.
BUT, I really think this is a question/case where you have to decide what's right for your situation.
God bless. Sending love & hugs!
This is a very interesting topic.
Lets see....I paid $2,000 (10% of total cost) for his first time in rehab, he walked out after four days.
I never paid for rehab again (Phoenix House was court ordered and paid by the county).
BUT I once added up the cost of the hospitalizations, other medical bills, court costs, etc and it was over $10,000 our my pocket not counting what my mom and sister pitched in on.
I don't have any money left so that makes it pretty easy to decide not to pay.
I think its wrong that rehab is so expensive and unaccessible to everyone who needs or wants to use one.
Every family bases their decisions on their unique family needs. We all have various factors to consider and its never an easy decision.
Before Al-Anon, I nearly went broke trying to "help." I paid for a rehab and multiple hospital admissions, among many, many other support services. Since Al-Anon, I've gotten out of the way.
NA and AA cost a voluntary donation of $1 a meeting. Help is freely given. And I think it works as well as anything I've heard of. If the person is willing.
But that's just my experience. Hugs.
no, never teen challenge.. please no
brother frankie
a biker for christ
We have been lucky that insurance has paid but he will age out of that soon. Lawyer fee's? well those are racking up as we speak. Part of the big push to get J inpatient is that it may be his last chance. I think I have come to realize that it really won't matter where he goes for treatment....if he doesn't want to go it is not going to work.
My daughter was in five treatment centers which all asked for money up front. Insurance eventually kicked in but it was a financial hardship. She was 21, an adult, and her treatment was complicated by mental illness. BUT, if your child isn't fully committed to the program, don't bother with treatment centers. Use day programs or outpatient clinics.
The real life after and before the hours spent in the program are crucial to anyone's success with the program. New friends, new habits, job, school, diet, exercise - all the "stupid" things are what work in the end.
So, if your child isn't willing to make those changes, a treatment center will just be an expensive burden. If your child is excited to change, I suggest giving outpatient treatment a chance first.
xx kris
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